Growing Up

Today I faced a typical challenge for a mother of a two-year old. We went out for an evening walk and my son was really eager to do things on his own, walk in opposite direction and not follow us in any way. It was cute in the beginning to see his smile and how he would act distracted when we talk to him, but soon I was forced to take him out from these cars that shake up and down once you insert the coin. After another half an hour of intense discussion and desperately trying to continue our evening walk, I finally took the decision against my will and his, to take him home and leave the others eat in peace.

Typical thing. However, the reason why I am writing about it is because of the way I felt while dealing with him. I had not a single bit of irritation, anger or frustration – feelings that some time ago would have easily come and would have gotten complete control over me. I was alone with him while the others were waiting and I did not get tired of repeating the same thing: “Please, come and give mama a hug and if you listen to me, I will let you ride 2 of those cars tonight. If not, we go home and we both lose the fun options we have now.” I felt determined, secure in myself and really calm that no matter what the outcome is, I would have done the right thing for him, which would make him trust me more for the future. I had no doubts in myself and I felt that the whole time I was thinking of him and was putting him first, even though in the end his will did not win. My tone was gentle and I even caressed him a few times because his tears really broke my heart a little. He fell asleep on the way home and it was clear to me – the growing teeth and the increased evening tiredness had really overwhelmed him tonight. We reached home while others enjoyed their meal in peace, even though in a bit different way than planned. On days like these, I feel that while Robin is growing, I am growing even more as his mom and as a person, so I owe him a big “Thanks” for allowing me to see things in a different light and giving me the chance to learn and have control on my actions.